Social workers are seeing more senior citizens who have been cheated or financially abused by their children. The children may have tricked or talked the parents into selling their homes, often with the promise that the parents can live with the children in the children's homes. But after taking the sales proceeds, they treat the parents shabbily, some even throwing the parents out.
There are also cases where children hold a parent's ATM card or manage their finances, as the parent may be too frail to go to the bank or is unfamiliar with the banking system. But the parent's life savings get wiped out as the children help themselves to the money. Also common are situations of adult sons demanding money regularly from elderly parents and turning violent if they do not comply.
Social workers say that the cases reported are the tip of the iceberg. Parents not only fear they will get the children in trouble if they go to the police, but also worry that the children will cut off ties if they go public. And even when they seek assistance, it is often for financial aid or to find a place to stay for themselves, or the abusive child. When doing so, they keep mum about how they have been exploited. The elderly may not even see this as abuse, but as their bad karma to have an unfilial child. They think it's shameful to tell others and they don't know what can be done about it. Social workers also say that financial abuse cuts across all income groups.
Many cases of financial abuse involve a son abusing his mother. Said Mrs Chua, senior social worker from TRANS Safe Centre, "Mothers tend to give in to their children's demands more often than dads. Traditionally, mothers dote on their sons more, so some take advantage of this." Associate Professor Ruby Lee of the National University of Singapore Law Faculty said financial abuse is a tough nut to crack as most seniors do not want to report the wrongdoing or take their children to court.
Making a police report may not help, because the children's actions, while morally wrong, may not be a criminal offence, she said, citing the example of children reneging on their promise to house their parents after taking the proceeds from selling the parents' flat.
But if a parent has lost his mental capacity due to dementia, for example, and a child is suspected of cheating the parent, the siblings can ask the court to appoint them as deputies to make key decisions on the parent's behalf.
For a start, social workers say it is important to raise awareness of financial abuse so that the elderly can learn how to safeguard their money. Ms Micki Sim, a social worker at @27 Family Service Centre, suggested: "Talk to someone, like a social worker, if you feel you have been exploited and we will see how we can help."
Thoughts anyone?
Yours,
Something Small Thinking Big
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