This post came out from The Straits Times (17 November 2016)
Family
violence is not a private matter, say the authorities, who are embarking on a
three-year public education campaign to urge people to break the silence if
they know someone is being hurt. The campaign comes as family service centres
tackle an increase in family violence, with an average of 1,400 cases reported
annually. These include cases of child abuse, which surged to 551 last year, up
from 263 in 2008.
In
July, a woman and her boyfriend were sentenced to jail for abusing her son,
two-year-old Mohamad Daniel Mohamad Nasser. He died after being slapped and
kicked almost daily. The authorities did not know about Daniel, who died last
year, until it was too late.
"Could
we, or anyone, have sounded the alarm earlier? After all, we too could be a
housemate, neighbour, relative, friend or passer-by to a victim of family
violence who is crying out in distress," said Minister for Social and
Family Development Tan Chuan-Jin at the National Family Violence Networking
System conference held at the Singapore Expo yesterday. "As long as
violence in the home is shrouded in silence, the violence will not cease... We
can prevent other horror stories."
At the
conference, the Ministry of Social and Family Development (MSF) released a
study that found that people did not come forward to report such cases because
they feared it would cause families to break up. Others saw it as a private
matter, or were not sure what family violence entailed. The study included a
poll of 2,000 people and focus group discussions with 102 participants.
"Not
every report (on family violence) will lead to the break-up of families. Some
social workers tell me early reporting can actually help save marriages and
keep families intact," said Mr Tan as he appealed to the audience of 800
professionals, from the judicial, law enforcement, healthcare, social services
and academic sectors, to spread the word to get people in the community to flag
such cases.
The
three-year campaign will employ videos, roadshows and art exhibitions to
educate the public on what family violence is, the signs and symptoms to look
out for, where to seek help, and what a bystander can do when encountering
situations of family violence. It is encouraging people to share on social
media, with the hashtag #breakthesilenceSG, how they stepped in to detect,
prevent, interrupt or report suspected family violence cases.
To
equip bystanders with resources on how to deal safely with such situations, MSF
is distributing materials and running training sessions for community agencies
such as grassroots, religious or educational organisations. Last year, a video
of an elderly woman being assaulted by her daughter along a Housing Board flat
corridor went viral and prompted MSF to intervene. A police report was made and
the daughter was charged. In his speech at the event, Mr Lim Kok Thai, deputy
commisioner of policy with the Singapore Police Force, said the neighbour who
filmed it had seen it happen before. "He had witnessed similar incidents
almost daily for approximately six months. He was reluctant to report the
incident as he felt that it was a family matter," said Mr Lim.
Dr
Sudha Nair, executive director of Pave, Singapore's first family violence
specialist centre, said the older victims often seek help after enduring years
of abuse. Social workers say the number of family violence cases they are
alerted to by bystanders is tiny, because people either dare not interfere, or
cases happen behind closed doors. Said Mrs Yee-Chow Choy Yin, chief
executive of Trans Family Services that specialises in elder abuse:
"Already, people do not report explicit violence that they see and hear,
what more when it comes to cases such as financial abuse of the elderly, which
is even harder to detect?" She said family members and close
friends had to have awareness and act.
DOs
• Approach the victim of abuse privately and make her feel
understood.
• Express your concern and encourage her to share her feelings. Be
patient and take time to listen.
• Offer to accompany her to see a doctor if she has any physical
injuries.
• Inform her about sources of help and provide her with emotional
and practical support.
• Help take care of her children or accompany her to the help
agencies if needed.
DON'Ts
• Do not downplay the violence and tell the victim of abuse that
everything will be fine.
• Do not try to solve her problem and insist that she must do what
you say.
• Do not judge or criticise her decision even if she shows that
she is not ready to do something positive about it. Respect her decision and
assure her of your support if she decides to seek help.
RESOURCES
Family Violence Specialist Centres
• Pave: 6555-0390
• TRANS SAFE Centre: 6449-9088
• Care Corner Project StART: 6476-1482
Child Protection Specialist Centres
•Big Love: 6445-0400
•HEART@Fei Yue: 6819-9170
Thoughts anyone?
Yours,
Something Small Thinking Big
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